circle around me

death is everywhere

and I dream of war

but inside me a baby is

growing

and despite all the ends

now I am at a beginning

.

I have seven

more months

before this life will pull

himself out

and for now

he is mine

all mine

and I don’t have to share

for a while

I thought bringing

another human

to life was

insane

6 billion plus

humans already here

taking up space

and equally destroying

each others’ children

chance at tranquility and balance

but something changed

maybe it was the silver of

the moon or watching the far away

galaxies rotate

or  some selfish

greed inside me

that wants to

see a large family

circle around me

when I am old

or the evolution of my genes

to something new and beautiful

The flower mates.  The honey bee

breeds.

Something archaic

inside of me for past

two years has said

have a baby

a fat little baby

to rock and love

to teach

and despite my intellectual

misgivings

my animal body won

you should see the way husband

smiles at me dreaming of

our love child

you are glowing

he says

you are beautiful he says

.

.

when I was a girl I didn’t want

babies

I wanted to be hobo

thumbing around the world

with a note book

and open eyes

now I am imaging a garden

and pies

and birthdays

and a new born suckling

on my fat breast