Purpose

If this age is already passed

and the all keeps moving

creating and decaying

perhaps some light will

carry over or some light

has been passed down

.

In the start of the journey

the goal wasn’t clear.

It was divide and multiply

It started with one and there

is still just one.

.

This is you. This is me.

You cannot say where

it begins and ends

or if these words

are depictions of reality

.

These words, abrupt,  speak

nothing to the liquidity

of matter or existence.

There may be no meaning

or certainty.  There may be

no safe shelter, or warmth or savory.

.

You may be onto something

looking up to the night time

sky with a body limp with awe

and the brilliant desire to reach

out and divide in rhythm to the universe’s drum

.

We are parts made of parts and so on

We are wholes inside of wholes and so forth

These are things that are parts with us;

the polar bear and the sun

the human and the passenger pigeon

the rising crust and water

calcium and the rock

.

This is why you must understand

it is meaningless and to understand

that it is meaningless you must

understand life has a purpose

circle around me

death is everywhere

and I dream of war

but inside me a baby is

growing

and despite all the ends

now I am at a beginning

.

I have seven

more months

before this life will pull

himself out

and for now

he is mine

all mine

and I don’t have to share

for a while

I thought bringing

another human

to life was

insane

6 billion plus

humans already here

taking up space

and equally destroying

each others’ children

chance at tranquility and balance

but something changed

maybe it was the silver of

the moon or watching the far away

galaxies rotate

or  some selfish

greed inside me

that wants to

see a large family

circle around me

when I am old

or the evolution of my genes

to something new and beautiful

The flower mates.  The honey bee

breeds.

Something archaic

inside of me for past

two years has said

have a baby

a fat little baby

to rock and love

to teach

and despite my intellectual

misgivings

my animal body won

you should see the way husband

smiles at me dreaming of

our love child

you are glowing

he says

you are beautiful he says

.

.

when I was a girl I didn’t want

babies

I wanted to be hobo

thumbing around the world

with a note book

and open eyes

now I am imaging a garden

and pies

and birthdays

and a new born suckling

on my fat breast

There is suffering all over the world

There is life

inside my stomach

that I imagine will stretch

into the future

and bring balance

to the universe

it is not worms

it’s a little divider

who will one day

look and act a lot

like you and me, big brain

this one is different;

he is mine

you can’t touch him

he is inside of me

he is my little fish

floating in tummy bowl

when the world meets him

his smile will enlighten

even the wise and coldhearted

will find awe in his rearranged dust

and supernova made amino acids

Even with all the suffering in the world,

depravity and heartache

crowding and pollution

a baby is still a wonderful addition

those perfect little parts

making themselves inside

my body

as I sip hot lemon water with honey

and imagine us in a future planting

tomatoes in our backyard garden