Sorry i have not been on blog land

I’ve been busy.  I finished the three generations book of poems.  Now it is in the editing process.  Why are margins so easy to mess up? Where do mistakes come from?

I had guests visit.  I visited family.  I laid on my couch and watched the swallows

on the balcony.  One was very fat and sat still. The other swallow was skinny and kept

cleaning feathers.  I worked on my painting a little.  I thought about growing up.  how I am grown up and if my younger self would meet me, say at a coffee shop, she’d think me

a fab – rad old woman.  I came to the idea that sometimes we have to let our parents down to let our self out.  I admitted to my mother that I don’t believe in God. She looked at me in a strange disappointment.  It was a little weird.

It is raining today.  I am planning to travel my country in few weeks.  I will write about you if I meet you.  I will write about the weather and the people and the roads. I love roads.  I love maps.  Anytime I see a road or a map I want to follow its lines and see where it takes.  I open to learn.

The world is different, than it was twenty-eight years ago.  In twenty-eight years what will the world look like? Who is predicting doom and sadness?  I predict science and travel and energy and art.

if it matters I have a ha mad suit

Hey Henry, how’s the job?

O the world is laid off and swine

flu is choking the neighbors my Henry.

My Henry never answers

or shows himself

and so I learned in the search to find him

he is imaginary. He is a  lie so old and used to

answer anything that takes time or thought

to discover. He has many other names like

god or father. If he ever existed he is dead

now and will be forever. Mourn if you must.

I am still here writing profane poems

and soon, very soon –give or take

a hundred years- I will

be a master of the lies or truth.

In the end it will not matter

Someone has mowed the grass for the first

time since last summer and wars are being lost or

won like they were three thousand years ago

and before at the tip of a sharpened stone in the hands of ancestors

My how evolution moves on in its constant revolutions

Now the weapons are atomic with drones to drop them

Far as anyone can tell since the universe specked

in existence it has never ceased in its low vibration

of magnets and cells in an infinite or finite search

for the perpetual molecules arranged by

chance or breath or equitation

As a hair on a big toe or the graphite in a pencil

or a coffee bean roasted and chewed

to test the flavor – All is complex and fleeting

asinine ellipses of fractal portions and all goes

out and in mastering distances with beats

we are told our human mind cannot comprehend.

My life is simple.  It is a monk’s life

without hard labor or the confines of  sacred

knowledge. I am able to pluck a dove’s feathers

or reinvent the telescope without the fear

of rushing stones or the old rope neck

I can say there is no god or I am god or god is a donkey

without the fear of cigarette burns on my fuzzy vagina

my war is a private black-hole where insanity

is the only causality and tranquility the ripe

reward of the endless suck and plunder

How dumb of my kind to strive and contort

with sacred muscle and the holy bomb

when the gentle universe obeys

breath and imagination as an excited

lover hopeful to breed experience and diversity

for as long it wills

Such a shame that the all

cannot flip a switch to light a

flame or lift a handle for something pure

as I can without the weight of eternal kneeling

or ghastly superstition

I wish to put my hands on you

if it matters I have a ha mad suit.

We can at least sing songs together

Please don’t cough on me

my lawn mower lover

I do not have any clover tea

but I can boil water to cauterize

the hemorrhage of your uncertainty

or soothe your fear with rising steam

as some did for the father in childbirth

not so long ago.

When the woman was hemorrhaging to death

they dumped boiling water on her to save her

life and scar her.  It is a risk to gamble

with me but perhaps we will use rationality

and modern science as I do in baking pie

and writing poetry or killing bacteria

Doubt is just the beginning

of healing insanity -thank

history for reason.

Thank evolution for me

There is no yucky religion

to confuse my mind and make

me want death

Please Doubt

Many intelligent people feel the need to lie to themselves or others about a belief in a god.  They are fearful because they have been told since they were children there was a magical being who would take care of their needs. It is a natural response to have some pain in the realization that there is not a god like that, at least there is no rational or evidence for a belief in a god,  especially the way the holy books tells.  This is the first step of enlightenment. Some cannot handle the truth.  It is lonely.  Not believing in a god is not about being sinful.  All you perverts who think you need the fear of damnation to do to others as you would have them to do you are disturbed. I don’t need the bible or any other book of faith to tell me not to torture or rape or kill.  Be responsible for your own actions and do good because you can. I don’t want to abuse people and I don’t want people to abuse me.  I don’t cheat on husband because I don’t want husband to cheat on me.  I do not want to get the ickies or the itch or give them as an anniversary  present.

To admit you don’t have the answers and start trying to solve the mystery instead of believing nonsense is easy in your mind but it is hard to do in front of a crowd of people with chickens they will kill you with.

Don’t tell me your nonsense beliefs and expect me to believe them.  Just because you don’t have all the answers doesn’t mean you can pick a random idea and say that it is true.  I can no longer fake it or go along with your stupidity.  I think you are stupid if you believe in a holy book.  I love you but I think you are choosing to be stupid.

If I told you god speaks to me through a special rock, would you believe it or would you want some proof?  What if I had a bunch poems and stories to backup my claim, would that be enough proof for you? What if I said you have to have  faith that I have secret sacred knowledge… Would you believe me?  Some of you would I suppose but most would rightly call bs and walk away. You would expect me to prove that I received the information from god… wouldn’t you?  Well, I would and do expect proof –physical proof.  ( believe that there are great mysteries and many unknowns that have answers that humankind has yet to figure out. )

What if I told you I was god?  You’d want me to prove it.  What would convince you that I am god? What if a bunch people said they saw me fly and turn a rock into a song?  What if they were willing to die instead of saying that they are lying or that I tricked them….What if I tricked them, would that ever popup in your mind and at what point and how would you ignore the doubt?

What if I put a special magical bark in boiling water and told you to drink it and said a blessing and it took away your lower back pain? And when you asked how you were healed I told you I am god and I healed you.  Would that convince you?   What if I had old books that said god would come and be a woman with holy bark, and I showed these books to you? What if I had millions of devote believers in me?

Would that convince you?  And what if I did convince you, would you teach your children about me?  Would you fear me? What if I told you unless you do what I want you to do you’ll go to horrible place after you die where you eternally eat your own ass unless you believe what I say and do as I command????

What if I told you to torture anyone who does not believe in me until they confess faith?  Would you do it for your Annie god?  What if I told you that there is an evil rat-man that lives in center of the sun and I told you he will eat you forever if you don’t beat your husband or cut off the tip of your son’s penis…

What if I said I only choose to show my power to certain people who I deem worthy and that I can read the minds of people and I know who is worthy, and told you not to question because you are too stupid to understand my great mysterious power.  What if I told you anyone who eats tomatoes is sinning against me and that the tomato is dirty and should not be eaten.  And later scientist found out the tomatoes can cause stomach ulcers. Would that prove that you should be faithful to me?

What if I told you all men must cover their whole body in plastic to protect them from other women who may touch or look at them and men being weak would not be able to defend themselves and men are suppose to be obedient to women, and you must kill a man who is not?    What if I told you to throw chickens at any man who refused to wear the plastic suit until he died.

What if I told you I was born from a virgin eagle. Or I was born from a holy woman who was never touched by a man.  Or I always existed.   Would you believe me?  But I have the books.  And people who say they saw me heal by crushing eggshells and putting them in the person’s pocket. They said they saw me fly and swoop.  I turned a rock into a song.  Would you say prove it, do it now?   What if I put egg shells in your pocket and your cough went away?

Would you believe that I healed you with my god powers?  What if I told you I would come back  for you but I had to go away and make a place for you on mars where you could live forever with me as long as you believed in me and did what I said?

What if  I died and a bunch of people said they saw me fly up to the sky and soar to mars. Would you believe them?  What if they told you that I came to them in a dream and said that I would come back when a big wave washes up 20 dead dolphins, when the people of the land could talk with each other across thousands of miles with their minds, when all people spoke the same language and when war was in the heart of every woman and that it would be soon, very soon

and that no one would know when I would come back except me and the rocks, and that you are to be ready for me and if your are not you will meet the rat-man….

What if a hundred years went by?  and than 500, a 1000, 2000?  How would you change the meaning of “I’ll come back soon, very soon” to fit the fact that I had not returned.

What if there had been thousands of dolphins that washed up on shore, and a few times twenty together.  What if a new technology came out and made it capable for people to talk with one another with a chip inside their brain?  Would you go out to the street and scream Annie god will soon return?  If it said in my book that when all the rabbits die, I will return.  Would you kill rabbits to make me come sooner?

What if there was only one copy of my book and you had to write it down or remember it and then write it down.  What if different parts of my books said different things or forgot important aspects?  What would happen to my holy commands or poems, would they be altered?  What if they were altered and people could prove it? What if they found old versions of my book that had different passages and different meanings?   Which would you believe? When would you stop taking my commands literal and start to put your own meaning to them?

What if it was translated into different languages that did not have the same words, or words that meant the same thing.   Would you believe it?  Would you hold onto it and pray to me?   What if my book was full abstractions and magic and contradictions?

Why don’t you believe in Zeus or scientology or Jesus or the magical Teapot who pours hot water for anyone who asks?  Why don’t you believe in Aliens that come down to earth to probe people’s asses or people who can levitate or astrologers or the great wolf father or the mother turtle or the holy cabbage or that Buddha was god?

What would make you believe that belief in me was the right one and that others were wrong?  Because I told you?  because you read it in an old book?  Because your parents told you or a holy woman or man told you?  Because it made you feel special and loved? Would you believe in me just because it made you feel good to pray and worship me or to think you would go to mars and everyone who ever mistreated you and didn’t believe in me would go to center of the sun for eternity?  Would you wage war if it was in my commands to do so just to feel my love?

Would you give my church money or goods if the old books said I wanted you to?  Would you elect a leader just because she said she believed in me?  Would you kill people who said I wasn’t god if the book told you to?  How far would you follow the wrong star home?  How far would you follow the star at all, what if science proved some of things my book claimed were true -were wrong?  How would you try to make the facts fit  or make up reasons why it so.  How long would you go on cutting off the tips of penises and making men wear plastic suits? When would it be ok to eat  tomatoes again or use critical thought?  If someone believed this stuff would you consider that person brainwashed? Foolish? When they fainted and shouted when listening to my priestesses and my rock songs, would you say they are in a trance?   How long would you claim what you didn’t know or understand was god, the great annie? How long would you believe in lies before you began to listen to your doubt and reason and logic?  How long would it take you to wipe away the fear of uncertainty and try to figure out the truth?  When would you decide enough is enough and you will not be forced or tricked into believing in something that does not make sense. When would you say, why do other people believe in other gods if there is only one, why would It be based on chance that I was born in an annie home or nation?

Why would Annie god help me find my keys but allow millions of children to starve to death?When would you awake from your make-believe fantasy and go about difficult task of discovering truth?  When would you have the confidence to scream, there is no Annie god?  Would you die for truth or if the other believers came to kill you would you tell them you believed in Annie god even though you didn’t?

How long would you hide the truth from others?  When would you come out of the closet and say damn it, I am not lying anymore?  I am not faking belief.  What if they told you were evil because you didn’t believe in me?  That there was something wrong with you and you were being tricked by the evil rat.

That you must cut off the tips of penises or else you are evil. What if you thought that cutting off the tips of penises was wrong?  Would you still do it?  What if other people said they agreed with you?

What if thousands of people agreed with you, millions?  When would you have the courage to search for truth and kill, annie the god?   When would you stop praying to me and go about taking care of yourself and making the world a better place because you only get one chance at life, one fleeting moment to love and live and learn?

How would you evolve?    I challenge you people of faith, instead praying to a god or following a holy book, to solve problems without asking for a god’s help.  Stand with your body and mind, and do good and do what is right based on what you would have others to do or for you.  I challenge you to find your keys without prayer or to face hardship as human without the belief of a magical being.  I challenge you to ponder and act as though there is no afterlife.  I challenge you to respect life and our planet for its beauty and diversity.

What do you think is moral?  How should you be treated? What would be the biological processes that brought you to life?   Would your life really be worthless without a belief in god?  Would you go about killing or raping or having sex with everyone you could if you didn’t believe in god?  Really? Would you want equality and justice for all?  If there is no god, how would that change the way you interact with the nature or other humans?    Would you accept a starving child or torture or war?   Would you share your food?  Would you sing songs?  Would you laugh or love?  Would you seek the truth?

Many people have abandoned the faith, the belief in something that cannot be proven and found themselves as humans capable of doing the right thing and taking reasonability for their actions.  And now, they are free to search for truth and are learning to control their bodies and their own destiny.   They can love, laugh and sing in freedom and champion respect for life.  They desire peace and abundance deep in their minds and in their living bodies.  They still have feelings of empathy.   They crave justice and life. They have become enlightened.  They are no longer in the dark ages and they feel fine.  Do you have the mental power to rid yourself of delusion and fear?  If so, speak up.  Be clear in your demand for truth and evidence, fact and repeatable experiments.   Use critical thought.  Ask questions.  Do not apologize for doubting religious claims or for being an atheist.   The burden of proof is not on you.

Mother Land

 

 

I saw you at the tavern, broken fingernails

with smeared lipstick

drinking whiskey sours. Smoking and debating

the old days with tights and mini shorts.

My orphaned hand handed you an ashtray

in the din of pool balls rolling into pockets,

jukebox tunes of be be bop and in the ghetto

In the howl and haggle of drunks

I recited your song about the home I’ve never known

 

 I saw you in the water

throwing seaweed and clumps of sand

wearing your atomic bikini

I saw a warrior rise out of you

 covered with blood, your rosy cheeks

Allow my clay hands to guide you

to peace my lady liberty I shouted

into the break of waves and wind

 

I saw you at the shopping mall

with bags of over consumption

around your wrists.

 You looked like a movie

fusion bomb

so primed and made up

so explosive and unaware of magic 

your ankles in heels -strong and clicking.

Your thin legs from a man’s painting.

I reached to smack the bags from your wrist

but you walked on knicked and pretending wealth

 

You where in the coffee house with

eyeliner and a corset t-shirt exposing

your watermelons –laughing and bowing

to the attention of the slick dicks

defining your worth you allowed them write

 down their clever puns about your

shadow lips on your tailbone

I wrapped my coat around you but when

I stepped away you let it fall and winked

at me with an eyeful of desire and control