Lesson 4/Poets Choose the Words

Lesson 4/Poets Choose the Words

 so you want to be a poet series

 

Just a reminder, scoliosis is not in its self a reason to be a poet. I think there has been some confusion about that and I just wanted to clear it up. Any hoot -to the lecture. 

 

Poets always have a favorite word, and secondary favorite words that destroy the surprising nature of their poetry. Humans who read like constancy so poets give readers constancy anyway they can. There are words and combinations of words that a poet will continue to use/misuse throughout their entire literary career. Poets sometimes call the repetition of word usage a “theme” that supposedly unites their work. You may pass off a small vocabulary in this way as well. You may also pass off an unhealthy obsession with the “one” that got way before you got off in the same manor. 

Many famous poets were people who were insane (rich women). I am sure that a handful of you wonder if you are insane. You are on the right track (fake it until you make). Some of you may have had the award of insanity granted to you.  You are the lucky one. You will not run out of words and can write any kind of nonsensical trite bull shi that you want and people will praise you because your are insane. Props!!!!!  Ever heard of Emily D?

The rest (you sane poets) will never measure up but having favorite words is one way poets have tried and had a small measuring cup of success (c 1/8 C).  Another way is to pick a topic that you will continue to write about such as silverware, ham and old men. Some poets pick war or a religion and write exclusively about it and make money off of the sympatric followers of that particular warm blanket.  You may choose whatever topic or theme you want but you will be expected to B.S on the topic/theme. Make sure the topic/theme is one that you already know something about because you, poet, are lazy and don’t like to study anything but your own poetry.  You cannot pick poetry.  That is called writers’ blockhead (Stay out of my cellar. I know it was one you lice infested poets who stole my special jams. You are not Harry. I’ll show you, fat laced Rabbit!)  Grammar is only acceptable topic/theme for education majors who write poetry in their spare time. But if you do that no one will consider you a poet besides your mom (ask your Kia dealer). Computer lingo is never acceptable (abbreviations are four bad spellers).

I am sick of reading your piss poetry Poet; you make me so conscious that I am ready to edit your work. Where is the accidental humor?  Tom is the only poet that has made me laugh. Not only does Tom have a great eye, Tom also Commeasures with the great poets of antiquity (aged scotch).  The rest of you are diet soda pop and light beer types. That should shame you to stop handing in poems or at least make a small effort to avoid eye-contact with me.      

Make sure you have words and combos that you hate. It doesn’t matter what stupid reason you have for hating them. As long as you have long list of words and combos you hate.  Muster up whatever you can. I hate aides and sleigh rides.

      I am not going to edit your prose ass poems today because I have a dinner date with a can of spotted dick and a tall Porter. I cannot be swayed to fly on the back of barn swallow.  I don’t know why you poets are constantly bringing it up. They are big but not that cosmic. Do I have to explain every shampoo detail to you?  Heavens to beat you.  Shut up about the barn swallows and its peapod sized.

      Today I expect you to write a poem that is bad (no bird or saving the bee poems allowed).  I most certainly know that most of your poems will suck ass.  They will.  I know this Poet.  You will want me to read over your brown grass poems and tell you that they are good.  I may just yet for revenge.

      Encasing, you would like to avoid pissing in my mouth; stop using words a fat teenager would use. I am going to give you a list of words and combination of words to never use in a poem. Do not misjudge on word choice or people.  

      I know some of you will not care and still use the words.  Young poets say something like, “Why can’t I use that word or combo?”  And it is always some dumb thing about water or stars sparkling and hope of love springs forth kitten kitten eyes on the pie. I have told you before Poet and I’ll say it again… that’s sucks old man back tits. But still you’ll get all tomato on me. Where are the noodles? The sauce? This is not Denmark! Snack -my ass!

      If you use any of the words on the list you must describe war or dead cows. If you do I’ll pity you because you must be going to war and cheer is clouding your word choice.  That is my read on you poet so go ahead and write what is on your sack fluster mind.  See what it gets you (you want a hand job? good luck deep poops of eyeball pools).

      I expect that you will continue to write bad poetry and that is just they way young poets are. 

You are still afraid to write an ok poem because you have realized I will rip it. I will continue to trick myself into thinking that one of you will use words that don’t cause me to think of cheap graybeards and pennies (pennies are for losers- cash/scotch please).  

      I have tomato on my new shirt.  How do I get tomato out of my new organic cotton?  This is going to be on the test that you are going to breathe on at the end of this lesson. 

      I am giving you this surprise test because I know all of you will fail, (except Tom-thanks for aged scotch and not wearing underwear, clever-thing).  That is fine. You need failure Poet.

Too many people have given free condiments (catshit is not cool on a hot dog). This is not how poetry works, Scotch or cash poet (however ale is better than an empty glass).

 

Where is your cup of black coffee/green tea? Is that one mind -copy a cat? I had the cow one. Get original. Tisk-tisk.

 

Assignment

 

Additional two-seat reading: Ramazani, Jahan; Richard Ellmann; Robert O’Clair    Vol 1 Modern Poetry, Third Editon

Please Pick out 50 poets (don’t pick on Wallace Stevens or else I’ll C- you) from volume and explain why they suck ass because the poets use words that are unfamiliar to you and you are too depressed to look them up in the old English dictionary. Please use second person perspective and subjective language without realizing it. Use blackmoor LET font Pt 8.

 

 

Writing assignment

Write a poem in your bathroom or borrow someone else’s bathroom

Find some paper

Use a felt pen

Write 3-page poem

Or a 5 lined poem (no subedited poems please)

Record yourself reading your poem and submit the mp3 to me and your pod-cast.

 

Try to use what you learned from the previous lessons

But don’t remember anything I covered and get confused (stay away from poppy and strangers’ gardens).

 

Do not use any of the words or combinations of words from the list unless you are going to war or drank a sow.

 

*There are many other words and word combinations you should not use but I will not tell you them all because I enjoy “feeling” superior to “you.”

 

 

The Short List of words and phrases you should NOT use in a poem

 

*Unless you are on mad war or drugs or cows

 

*Never use an “ing” ending if you want to get published or sexed

 

 

cotton candy clouds

twinkled

hope

creamed

Sparkles

like

imagination

hate

to think

black as coal

thoughts

I remembered

reason

Purple

fag

fantasy

spring of my hope

trying

To be

immeasurable

own

imposing

beautiful

lover

sparkling

ruby red lips

sweet like candy

My love for you is an eternal flame

Pussy biters

men are smarter than

Critters under my skin

the meaning is

Creamy skin

She was tall and charming

she’s got a dick; gross

shimmer

know

shimmering

love

her eyes glittered

blood on her underpants

glitter

guilty till proven

Mudder Tucker

shame

I love you

honey

I will always love you

we lived inside our imagination

carve on a tree

till pigs fly

he sexed me with science/apples

on my last rope

how do you do

till the end of time

she looked deep into his eyes

sloppy seconds

the bases are loaded

and the moral is

spirit

you can do it

foot loose

fishing fool

want a wild ride

I wish

I didn’t do it

on a wild slide

I got herpies

wide eyed

soul

golden sun

brightest star

my teacher is an asshole

I strangled a cat

so what

I live in a trailer

lovely

fat bitch

make love on me

shine on

the rings of friendship

are chains on my heart

the wind beneath

a better place

orgasmic death

like a cat

budding beauty

my wings are

loose women

but my woman is frigid

I was a cannibal

*In order to be avoided and hated

 

 

 

EXAM

(Short answer exam)

 

1. How do I get tomato out of cotton?

___

 

2.Why should you avoid using the word combination “like a cat” in a poem?

__

3. What is the best pickup line you ever used and why do you think it failed?

___

4. How do you make applesauce?

____

5. Name five things that real poets carry on them at all times?

_ _ _ _ _

 

6. Name fifty words or word combinations that poets should never use in poem?

_________

7. Why should a poet have favorite words?

____

8. Where do poets get money?

 

9. Why should young poets rely on spellchecker?

__

10. Why do you write piss poor poetry?

_

 

 

 

 

 

Bonus questions (each worth 110000 extra points)

11. What famous liar said,

     It is the author’s aim to say once and   

     emphatically, “He said.”  

__

12. Why do you, poet, wish you were the “only” poet alive?

___

13. What will you lose if you don’t use it?

____

 

14. What is Milton’s “Paradise Lost” about?

_________

 

 

^Please answer all questions in provided space. Anything that goes out of space will be ripped apart by the strength of gravity of my black hole, justly disheveled and scorched by Harry, the famed radiator.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

*Additional Reading Requirements

Annie Burie’s Blogs at wordpress alphabetically 

 

 

Please post assignment before the end of the day (I’ll be whacked off by then and needful of a sobering experience).